Saturday, June 27, 2009

One Man's Trash is Another Man's...Aquatic Syndrome

I love yard sales. Pilfering through someone else's junk brings instant gratification. At my first sale of the summer I found The Works of Thomas Aquinass and The Iliad. The homeowner thought this was a first edition book, seeing as how he had never head of Homer, the one named author but likened him to Oprah. Perhaps, he pondered, it was a book by the creator of The Simpsons? I assured him all were possibilities.

My best yard sale find of the season: A GIANT lobster Jello mold. For 25 cents, what a find! Of course, I have no idea what I intend to do with said mold. Perhaps a Caribbean party? Something about it seemed vaguely familiar...I haven't made Jello since...OH NO!

I bought Jello molds last year at a yard sale! No one under 70 years of age even OWNS Jello molds. WHY DO I BUY JELLO MOLDS?? I have a problem, a gelatinous syndrome, an obsession with jiggly finger foods, a non-food group related tic. I need intervention! What is my problem?!!!

I'm a freak show. I'll take Foods Without Bones for $200, Alex. My poor kids will be forced to clean out my house when I die and be confronted with a tin menagerie. A closet full of androgynous shells awaiting sugar water and refrigeration. How embarrassing!

Why do I keep buying bizarre Jello molds?

Last year it was the twin fish Jello molds. This year it's the lobster. Seriously, why do I hone in on the edible sea creatures? Is there something Freudian about this?

Why can't I find a nice flower arrangement or crocheted toilet paper holder?


christina said...

I keep trying to edit poor Thomas's name. I know that's not how it's spelled, I KNOW THIS! But blogger won't let me. Ach.

Sande said...

My Ma has a collection of tupperware jelly do da's that may need to find their way to your house ..... :)