It's Time for More Resolutions

Celebrity Advice for New Year's Resolutions? Think again...


From The TimesDecember 27, 2008. Don’t take health tips from celebs if you know what’s good for you

Blog Reality

I've finally taken the time and had some semblance of desire to start a blogroll. It's not that I don't read other blogs, I do, but I have the technical capabilities of a slug. I know, I should have asked my six-year olds to do it for me.

I have one complaint about some of the mom blogs I've read. For instance, I like to read Big Mama. I thought we might have something in common, what with a name like Big Mama. But when I saw her picture, she looks like a Victoria's Secret model. False advertising! I'm thinking she could at least italicize or put quotes around "Big." I was greatly disheartened but she's delightful so I'll keep reading.


I'm thinking of starting my own mommy blog ring for those who don't look like Claudia Schiffer. I'm going to call it The Portly Mommas Blog Ring. You can only join if you haven't lost all that baby weight, even if it's been 15 years since you had a kid.

Also you can only join if:

Your girdle is as essential to you as underarm deodorant.

If you've never been mistakenly confused for a supermodel.

If you've ever asked your husband if you look FATTER in an outfit, because the looking fat part was a given.

If you think Pilates is an Italian dessert.

If the thought of banning chocolate is an act of terrorism.

If on New Year's you resolved not to lose weight, but to not get any fatter.

If you are stick thin, you may join but you better have something else wrong with you, like, say, a goiter.

If you'd like to join PMBR please submit your URL and a recent photo. Include height and weight ratio.

Happy New Year! Happy New Year? Happy New Year.

QUESTION: Am I old?
ANSWER: Yes, yes I am.

For my New Year's celebration, I'm going to take a nice, long, UNinterrupted bubble bath. Then, when I'm warm and cozy in my PJ's I'm going to cuddle up on the couch with a fuzzy blanket and watch my favorite episodes of The Office on DVD. I will hopefully doze off, chuckling myself to sleep. I don't need champagne or loud parties or resolute, life altering plans. Just Dwight K. Schrute.


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"That's the American Dream. You can go to sleep and start new the next day." -Michael Scott