Sunday, May 20, 2007
The Things You can Learn from the Bible
My 10 year old son Dylan is a quirky child. His perspective on life is delightfully obscured. We spent the afternoon at one of his soccer tournaments. During the game I could see one 10 year old boy from the opposing team talking to Dylan throughout the game in a volume too low to understand but with body language universally understood.
He had to be the child of the obnoxious dad who kept snarling from the sidelines. I asked Dyl later what the kid was saying to him.
"Oh, he was gushing folly in my ear."
"Gushing folly? Where did you hear that phrase?"
"Oh, you know, the Bible."
Huh, who knew? I guess that is a more tasteful way to say, 'trash talkin'.
On a side note: What's wrong with parents? For the love of Pete, they're kids. I've heard kids being berated verbally from the sidelines, heard parents be screamed at by their little angels on the field, seen parents encourage their athlete to 'teach that kid a lesson,' 'give 'em an elbow to the head', 'show him who's in charge' and other such provocative threats. No one is exempt. I've heard coaches being belittled by their own players, heard coaches drop the F** bomb on their own 10 year old players and parents turn on each other.
What turns normally decent human beings into fanatically insecure and rabidly desperate spectators who use children as pawns to feed their own ego? (That's my own unprofessional assessment). To get a good dose of this epidemic, wander over to your local soccer field and sit amongst the parents of the kids who are playing. It will turn you stomach. Granted, it's not the English Premier League, but give it time and we'll be trampling the refs.
End of side note-
In another instance of biblical education, Dylan enlightened me as to the result of kissing when one is still an elementary school student.
"Why? What will I happen?" I ask out of curiosity.
"You can get an STD. So don't kiss because something bad will be transmitted, like the chicken pox or bad grades."
"Where did you learn that?"
"From the Bible."
Hmmm. Would I be bad mom if I let him believe that until he's 30?
I almost forgot-my favorite and most likely to embarrass him if he reads this. One day he was doing the universal male dance for "I got hit somewhere embarrassing and it reaaaaaally hurts." With four boys around the house, we have an assortment of names with which to refer to the male region most susceptible to pain.
"Owwww. He hit me in my man's weakness," Dylan squeals.
"Your man's weakness? Let me guess-you learned that from the Bible?"
"No. From school," with an incredulous look that obviously said, "duh."