Sunday, April 13, 2008

A Heavenly Weight Loss Idea

We finally had a sunny day here! I put my pasty, white skin right out into those warm UV rays because everybody knows that fat looks better when it's tan. I don't want to be the only soccer mom still wearing a turtleneck and snow pants because my legs look like ricotta cheese.

That's when it became painfully obvious: bloggin' is makin' me fat.

I attribute this to the amount of time I spend reading all the great blogs I'm discovering. How's one supposed to workout when I'm caught between an online quilting lesson and how to speak Italian?

Also, thanks to Easter candy clearance sales, I'm eating jelly beans at the rate of one jelly bean per paragraph. I don't know how we came to celebrate the Resurrection of Christ with colored Whopper eggs, but I'm apparently still celebrating. It seems only fitting that I would come across this website:

You can actually compete with other church members in the more subdued version of the Biggest Loser. How great would that be? I can just imagine walking into the church service, sizing up the competition.

The whispers are probably audible when the offering plate is passed and deacon Jim is looking good. "Wow, Jim, looking good. Can I have your recipe for low fat fritters?"

Maybe the church secretary could post the results in the bulletin, right between the Apostles Creed and hymn #556.

Seriously though, it's a great idea. I need to compete in order to lose. Is that sad or what?

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