Got the new
catalog in the mail. The swimsuit issue. They have these wonderfully tailored suits that play mind tricks on the viewer. Your 'never see the light of day thighs' turn into mild disturbances when you slip into one of these babies.
Everything is color /shape coded so you pick the body part region you don't want to expose to the known world and they have a suit for you. For instance:
The prices range from around $60 per piece (manufacturer recommends both pieces be worn simultaneously for maximum benefit) to $100. If they can do the miracles the folks at Land's End say, then they're worth every cent.
If you're like me and answered "all of the above" to the trouble spots, they also have this category:
When I clicked on this miracle suit category, this is what I found:
The good news is that it comes in Orca blue and World's Largest Pumpkin orange.
I'll be buying one of each.