Thursday, April 3, 2008
Leave it to a Man to be a Mom
Leaving all the philosophical, spiritual, and ethical discussions to much smarter people, I'd just like to say, DANGNABIT MAN!
You're messing with a mother's universal right to use the pain of childbirth as unlimited leverage over her husband and children. "I writhed in agony for 27 hours just to get you out of my body, the least you can do is keep your room clean."
The "Wow did you see how much pain I was in giving birth to YOUR child" guilt trip is an irreplaceable negotiation tool. Directly after giving birth I have been showered with precious gems and lavish vacations from the man whose maximum pain tolerance peaks at a paper cut.
Let's face it. Pregnancy is still a shroud of mystery to most men. Until now. This is going to blow the secret of the sisterhood. Hormonal rants, crazy food cravings and squeezing out a human being are rewards to those of us who have to wear tampons and endure menopause.
For nine months, a pregnant woman is cared for, indulged, treated carefully, even placed on some sort of reproductive pedestal.
Bottom line: when she plays her cards right, a pregnant woman can be treated like the fertile, life-giving queen that she is.
Bottom most line:
It's bad enough when you're sick, I DON'T NEED YET ANOTHER REASON TO CATER TO A MAN!
**No, of course this story is an Internet hoax from www.malepregnancy.com. There is a transgender man who is allegedly pregnant, as revealed recently, on April Fool's Day, I believe. But if he started as a woman, changed to a man, but still kept the female reproductive organs, wouldn't that still qualify him to be a woman??
Anyway, it's crazy to think about. As far as I know, seahorses are the pregnant males I've seen.