Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Jonah, hell and death. Kids say some funny stuff

These kids' quotes have been circulating on the web for a while now. but they still make me smile. Have a great day!



A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They
will in a minute."

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she
asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou
shall not kill."

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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's
dead."


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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make
the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as
you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the
blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note,
and posted on the apple tray:

"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large
pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

1 comment:

Guinevere Meadow said...

I love these! They are so funny...