Mixing business with pleasure

My friend Ron just reminded me of something I wanted to learn about Jello. On the package directions, it says to add fruit or vegetables. Of course, my eyeballs bulged like a kumquat when I read the word, vegetables. Being a Jello rookie, I have only had the fruit induced Jello.

What kind of vegetables do you add to Jello? I started thinking about radishes and cherry gelatin, Green onions, green beans and lima beans to lemon jigglers. Boy, I bet the kids would gobble those up! Beets, asparagus, zucchini and those weird, twisted brown root things that I swear, look at me as I pass them in the grocery; the possibilities are infinite.

Ron said he and his wife, Marilyn, enjoyed Jello with shredded carrots and pineapple. Shredded carrots are dainty and inoffensive. You can use them to sneak vitamins into the most surprising places. They're like drug mules of the vitamin world; carrying their healthiness into unsuspecting territory.

Actually, shredded carrots might be a possible exception, if one was physically forced to eat Veg-O. Of course, shredded carrots also show up in carrot cake. I'm not a huge fan of carrot cake, seeing that it doesn't contain chocolate. But, I have a hard time eating it anyway due to the combing of the two social classes: vegetable and delectable sweets.

I fully uphold the natural laws of segregation when it comes to combining healthy foods with the sign-me-up-for-a-heart-attack dessert family. One is business. The other pleasure and never the two should meet.

However, recent research has yielded some interesting results: Espresso Jello, Cherry Coke Jello, green salad with cottage cheese, Jello pizza and apricot and zucchini jelly (which my mom loves but she buys it from some fancy place with a brilliant marketing department). Very few vegetable recipes, but I did find Ron's carrot and pineapple Jello salad. So it does exist, with rave reviews from Ron,although he's a Notre Dame fan so his credibility is suspect. Do some research and discover for yourself this untapped resource known as Jello.

Bon Apetite.

One man's trash...Could be lime Jello

Best yard sale find ever: Giant fish Jello molds. I practically stole them from the lady for 50 cents. I haven’t had Jello since I was a girl and my mom would make it every other night, either with sliced, slightly browning bananas or a clump of soggy grapes she called fruit cocktail. Adding insult to injury; that qualified as a dessert.

Possessed with the thought of creating giant fish shaped Jello, I bought them. Sadly, my kids had NEVER seen Jello being made, let alone actually eaten enough to remember. How could I have neglected one of the basic food groups?

So we came home and luckily I still had some Jello packages from 1997, so we made it. Making perfect Jello molds is an underrated craft. Mine split apart like a second cousins wedding.

It wasn't that great until I let the kids smother it with Cool Whip. Everything tastes better with Cool Whip.

Meet Virginia

Evangeline and I recently finished our “girls only” road trip to Virginia. Good music, good conversation (as much as an 8 year old can dialogue), overall good mom and daughter time. The green, sweet smelling mountain air and the gradual increase of southern twang and hospitality reminded me of why I’ve always wanted to live in the South. I don’t just mean in Virginia, but in the Deep South, where you can use words like Mason Dixon, parasol, y’all, plantation and talcum. Oh, to sip a mint julep on a porch swing would be divine.

I do have two observations about the Commonwealth of Virginia that left me a bit ruffled.

Upon our return trip, we saw several road signs indicating a place called Biscuit World. To a carb addict such as me, the sign might as well have been pointing directly to Heaven. What was this Biscuit World and what kind of blessings on a bun did they serve?

We decided to indulge our quixotic side, and try this enticing place. So, whenever we saw a highway sign for the gourmet eatery I’d get all excited and yell out in typical Wayne’s World fashion, “Biscuit World, Biscuit World Party on Excellent!” Evangeline, of course, being of the deprived generation, had no idea what I was doing, but as long as this behavior pattern led to a little slice of heaven, she was happy to oblige.

At three different exits we attempted to find the elusive, yet advertised, Biscuit World. Three different times we left disappointed and hungry with a lather of grouchiness foaming inside. Either the building was closed down or had been replaced with a Butt Hut, cigar and cigarette outlet. No Biscuit World. Anywhere. Oh, the disappointment! How I would’ve auctioned a limb to get the mouth-watering Southern goodies that waited.

I don’t know, maybe it’s too much to ask that if you advertise a place on the road sign, the corresponding establishment should be there!

Another draw back to Virginia is the humidity factor. Here in Ohio, my naturally curly hair is manageable, dare I say it, able to be straightened, if I have a few extra hours. Not so in Virginia. My hair kinked and curled and resorted to a general state of POOF. I walked around a good two inches taller than usual, thanks to the orbital explosion of my head. I looked like a fat, white woman with a ‘fro, kinda like that creepy, big-headed statue that stands outside those Big Boy Restaurants.

It’s probably a good thing I never found a Biscuit World.